Another Global Record

Categories: Environment, Fact Check
Comments: 4 Comments
Published on: 2014.06.26

If you believe those ignorant, uninformed scientists, the Earth has set another heat record — May 2014 was the hottest May on record (April 2014 tied the record for April). These are compared to records going back to 1880, not compared to the total historical record, which of course can only be estimated.

Fortunately for us, we don’t have to believe scientists — most of whom agree that humanity is at least partially responsible for this warming trend — because we have stately educated people like John Boehner to assure us we don’t need to take any steps to help the climate, at least not if they’ll hurt the economy. (Boehner clarified that he’s “not qualified” to debate the science.)

And you know Jim Inhofe can be believed, because he wrote a book calling climate change science the “greatest hoax”, “…which is an effort to dramatically and hugely increase regulation of each of our lives and business…” He goes on to explain that there are people who benefit so greatly from more regulations that they came up with the whole “climate change” nonsense in order to benefit themselves by further regulating businesses and consumers. In his book, Inhofe lists his qualifications to debate this subject: “I am not a scientist. I do understand politics.”

There are many — too many to list here — more people with similar qualifications and name recognition, some of them with the ability to keep winning elections, who will say the same thing. So you can rest easy, my friend. The Earth isn’t getting warmer. The climate has always changed, so any changes now are normal. And if it does change, Inhofe has assured us it can’t possibly get out of control because, well, God.

In the meantime, those same silly and ill-informed scientists keep checking their magical, imaginary thermometers — which now show there hasn’t been a cooler-than-average month since February 1985. Every month since then has been warmer than average. And the last time a month set a record low was December 1916.

  1. >>Jim Inhofe can be believed<<

    People don't believe him at all. They buy into his message because it reenforces what they already hope and wish.

    • Wil C. Fry says:

      What!? You mean just because someone wrote a book claiming something, they’re not necessarily telling the truth!?

      Also, it was cold where I live this past winter, which MUST mean that global temperature averages have not risen at any time for any reason. Further (continuing to use Fox News logic), I drive an internal combustion engine vehicle, yet Florida is still (mostly) above sea level. Doesn’t this mean science in its entirety is a hoax?

  2. I’m not a scientist either. But I do understand that since Obama’s been President we have had more earthquakes in Oklahoma than at any time in recorded history. I’m not pointing fingers. I’m just stating the obvious here. Wait a minute. We’ve had more F5 tornadoes in Oklahoma since Richard and Abby got married. And Oklahoma’s produced more natural gas since you moved to Texas. If you moved to Mexico, Oklahoma could lead the nation in natural gas production. It doesn’t take a scientist to see these things.

    • Wil C. Fry says:

      I follow your train of thought exactly, Michael. I’ve also noticed the rise in cancer rates since the mass-production of home television sets, and that AIDS really took off since the first compact discs were put on the market.

      As for “since Obama’s been in office”, look what happened to Hannah Montana.

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