The Ten (2007)

Categories: Movie Reviews
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Comments: 2 Comments
Published on: 2009.08.10

There are worse movies in the world than The Ten, but not very many.

To be honest, I’m only rating the first 40 minutes of the movie, because that’s all I could stand to watch. My wife begged me to turn it off after 25 minutes, but I was confident that something good was coming.

With all the big names in this film, all of them qualified actors who’ve been in amazing — or at least enjoyable — movies, I expected at least something in this. For the life of me, I can’t see why they got involved. There were so many stars, it felt like I was watching TMZ.

Basically, The Ten is a series of inter-related stories, divided into 10 little sketches, with Paul Rudd talking straight into the camera in between the sketches. Each sketch is supposedly based on one of the Ten Commandments.

For instance, the sketch based on “thou shalt not take the lord’s name in vain” was about a woman who had an affair with a man in Mexico named Jesus Christ. She later learns that he’s the real Jesus Christ. Later, she’s married to a guy named Oscar, and accidentally screams out “Jesus!” while in bed. Of course, Oscar is horrified.

Funny? Maybe on some base level, by the actual definition of humor, these sketches are humorous.

But by most modern standards of “funny,” this just didn’t take the cake.

I’ve read a few reviews which assure me the really funny parts are closer to the end, almost as if the movie-makers were just kidding about the first 40 minutes. To that I will answer the same way I did to “The Good German” and “Syriana“: If your movie can’t snare me in 40 freaking minutes, then how in the world do you expect me to watch the rest of it?

If there is nothing in your movie’s first third that is worth watching, then you cut the first third. Or start over and make the movie again.

IMDb: The Ten
Wikipedia: The Ten
Rating: R
(pervasive strong crude sexual content including dialogue and nudity, and for language and some drug material)
Length: 96 min (1:36)
Director: David Wain
Genre: Comedy
My Rating: 2 of 10
Family Friendly: No
Paul Rudd, Adam Brody, Jon Hamm, Winona Ryder, Ken Marino, Ron Silver, Famke Janssen, Gretchen Mol, Liev Schreiber, Jessica Alba, Oliver Platt, Janeane Garofalo

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  1. Wil says:

    Maybe this will work?

  2. Wil says:

    Okay, comments are working again! Sorry — I'm not sure what happened.

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