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Published on: 2005.02.04

For those beautiful people who are out there wondering… How could he possibly know these things? Like, how did I know she liked the Jolly Ranchers?

It’s simple, my young and curious friend:  I am trained in the art of gathering information. It’s my job, my life. Some of my methods must remain secret, except the Department of Homeland Security probably knows. They’re always watching me. That was a joke, of course. They only watch me sometimes.

I especially gather information about those I like or care about, but only for the greater good.


Tomorrow I plan to attend a memorial service for a friend I never knew. This person is known to me only through her family members, all of whom I adore. So I will be there. And I will probably be emotional, since I’m an emotional kind of person (when I’m not hiding behind a blanket
of words). I am certain that if I had known Casey, I would have liked her. I like her poetry, her drawings, and the photographs of her.

However, I will be attending in the official role as “reporter,” and I am not sure how to handle that, since I also believe I am a friend of the family. They invited me as a reporter. So I will do my utmost to respect the deceased, as well as those who loved her. I am worried that I will try to take a picture and that it will offend someone. Or that I will speak out of turn. I hope not. I try to be a good boy, especially in a situation like this. I hope the family will understand my lack of religion, as well as my extreme respect for theirs.

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