Alas, ‘My Life’ Is Her Life

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Comments: 3 Comments
Published on: 2011.07.18

I am aware that this blog is called “My Life”; this is because I was alone when I began this blog in early 2005. Little did I know I would meet my future wife just a few months later. And now of course, we have Rebecca.

So this blog, the title of which I’m unwilling to change, has become all about Rebecca, with just a few added snippets about the weather or some recent shopping trip. This is because my life (the actual life, not the blog) is also all about Rebecca. For nine months we have thought of little else besides our little girl.

We haven’t been to a movie theater, eaten at a fancy restaurant, or a dozen other things we used to do before she was born.

I know that many parents simply keep living their lives (as much as possible) after their babies are born. I’ve known many of them, especially fathers. Many fathers’ lives change very little once their kids are born. They continue to have poker nights with their buddies, go golfing, or do whatever it is they did before the birth of the child. I’ve even known a few mothers whose lives changed very little.

I’m not knocking these parents. It’s what they chose to do.

But it’s not me. I knew ahead of time that I would be the “stay at home Mom” while my wife worked to support us. We planned ahead of time to design our lives around our kid(s).

Also, it’s probably more interesting to read about her development than the few non-Rebecca items in our lives. Seriously, not much else is going on.

We attempt to watch a DVD every now and then when she’s napping. I mow the grass once a week and water once a week if it hasn’t rained (it hadn’t, until a brief shower this morning). We buy groceries and pay bills. I participate in several online forums about photography. We keep the house as clean as possible. See? Boring. :-)

3 Comments
  1. Sharon says:

    This reminds me of when my baby girl was little. It’s not that I couldn’t go places. It was that I didn’t want to spend time away from her. I was (and still am) deeply, madly in love with her. I knew that the time would come that I would no longer be the most important person in her life, so I wanted to savor every moment with her. Now, she’s 15 and has her own little life. I miss those crazy days of babyhood and toddlerhood. And I’m glad I was there for all of those moments.

  2. Kelly says:

    ^^ It’s comments like the one above that help me get through these exhausting times of having a newborn and toddler. I want to enjoy every moment because i know it goes by way too fast. I think it’s good to have children at the center of our lives, but it’s also good to have hobbies and friends to help balance. But i’ve also found that when our kiddos are little, that’s really difficult!

  3. Wil C. Fry says:

    @Sharon: That is exactly why we planned to shut off (mostly) our social lives when our baby was born. :-) We did not want her in day care, we did not want her spending more time with a babysitter than with us, and we wanted her to learn by experience and example that our family is the most important thing to each one of us.

    (And my wife is slightly jealous of me because I get to spend most of Rebecca’s waking moments with her. Fortunately, most of the actual milestones have happened when my wife was home as well…)

    @Kelly:
    Yes, it’s exhausting. :-) Perhaps more so than I’d anticipated, especially being nearly 40 years old and set in my ways. :-)

    Fortunately, my only real hobby (photography) melds perfectly with having a baby around… And she’s a better friend than most I’ve had. :-)

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