In roughly two weeks, my wife and I will celebrate the fifth anniversary of our wedding. It’s traditionally the “wood” anniversary, so I’ve considered buying some lumber for my wife and letting her build something with it. Ha. The “new tradition” is silverware, which we now have plenty of.
I know this is a very public blog, and my regular readers know that I have never complained about my relationship here. Even if the blog wasn’t fully public, I firmly believe that relationship troubles should be discussed with the other person in the relationship. Once you reach the point where you have to complain to friends or family members about your spouse, it may be too late.
But the fact is, I have never had a serious complaint about my wife. And I seldom, if ever, even have minor problems with her. No, our marriage isn’t a perfect shining example for all young couples to follow, and yes, we disagree often. But here are some facts to remember:
1. Disagreements are not problems
2. Arguments are not fights
3. Love is not contingent upon feelings; love is something you do
We disagree on silly things, like whether or not NBC’s “The Voice” has better talent than FOX’s “American Idol” (this is an example; we actually agree on this issue). We have heated discussions, with many random examples, poor analogies, and tangential discussions. Then we do something else. Together.
We disagree on what kind of china cabinet to purchase, or what route is faster to the mall and back. None of these are problems. These are all things people are supposed to discuss and share their feelings about when they’re married. The real trick is to determine when your partner cares more about the subject than you do, and say: “This is obviously more important to you than it is to me, so let’s go with your idea.” Or realize it isn’t really important at all, to either one of us, and make the discussion as funny as possible.
I’ve heard about men who feel trapped in marriages and wish they were still bachelors. I can only presume they got married too young or for the wrong reasons. I don’t miss being a bachelor at all.
Perhaps there are a few specific items of bachelorhood that I miss, such as eating supper when I feel like eating, sometimes as late as 9:30 p.m. But it was a microwave meal that tasted like flavored cardboard. That can’t compare to what I’m eating now.
In every respect, my life has improved, my outlook has brightened, and even my health is better now (although that last one may be due to moving away from Seminole and no longer working at The Producer).
So, Happy 5 Years to us, and I wish for many more.